amaotonovel Chapter 3091 "Romantic" Wedding Season (1)
Chapter 3091 "Romantic" Wedding Season (1)
Chapter 3091 "Romantic" Wedding Season (XI)
Schiller analyzed Reed's situation in great detail. He described some of the scenarios that Reed might encounter in his daily life, which made Reed even more convinced that he could read minds, because he had indeed encountered these situations more than once.
Reed also told Schiller about his mental journey, and because he had a high IQ and did not have any pathological mental illness, his description was very accurate.
Reed's appearance is actually quite good. He can't compare to those famous handsome guys in Marvel, but he can be considered in the second tier. He is tall enough, 1 meters. His body is not very strong, but he is well-proportioned and looks like a handsome man.
But according to him, he was not popular when he was a student and even suffered from school bullying. Of course, he dealt with those who wanted to bully him before they could even start.
But even so, he often encountered cold violence, that is, he was isolated by students and was like a transparent person in the class. No one talked to him.
The most amazing thing is that his grades are so good, he gets A's in all subjects every year, he doesn't smoke, drink, fight, or get into trouble, he doesn't even have a love relationship, but no teacher likes him.
Not to mention his popularity with the opposite sex. He didn't have to wait until now to fall in love. Many girls were interested in him at the beginning and even pursued him, but for some reason, they left him soon. Some even became enemies, making his reputation even worse.
At first, Reed thought that it must be because he was a genius, and these ordinary people were jealous of him, so they united to exclude him. How can a sparrow understand the ambition of a swan?
But after entering university, he found that something was not right. There are actually many geniuses in this world. At that time, Reed was still in the process of learning, and he didn't know which level he was in. When he came into contact with new things, he would find that there were people who were better than him. He thought that he should have found a soulmate by now, right?
But no, his classmates in the same lab didn't like him either, the teachers only maintained superficial politeness, and although those respected professors affirmed his research results, they always seemed to avoid him. Whenever he wanted to ask for advice, everyone got sick.
During this period, Reed began to feel confused. Was he born to be unlucky? Why did everyone dislike him?
Fortunately, he is a genuine genius. Even if others don't like his personality, they have to admit his talent, cooperate with him and recommend him. This prevents him from doubting himself and developing any mental illness.
To Reed, the world was a huge official affair. Everyone treated him with superficial affection based on the relationship between colleagues. As long as personal relationships were mentioned, no one would help shaking their heads.
Reed is so smart that he certainly knew there was a problem. He went to see a psychiatrist, but the doctor couldn't find any illness. Some doctors also tactfully pointed out that there might be something wrong with the way he behaved.
This is not a victim-blaming theory. The main reason is that if everyone he has met since childhood has this attitude, it is unlikely that they have colluded. It is more likely that the problem lies with Reed himself.
Since he had no close friends and no one was open with him, he could not figure out the trick, but he got used to it over time.
His academic achievements are unmatched, and he feels lonely at the top, so he is not in urgent need of interpersonal communication, because he lives quite well without it.
But this time it was different. He fell in love with a girl, so of course he had to take the initiative to date her. However, his previous painful experiences made him not very confident. He was afraid that Susan would be like those female classmates of his in middle school, who were fine when they were not familiar with him at the beginning of the school year, but started to distance themselves from him after a while.
Although Reed also showed his affection to Susan, he didn't dare to get too close to her. He could see that Susan was also interested in him, but Susan didn't take the initiative to approach him. The two of them had been in a stalemate for some time.
When Schiller asked what Susan needed most, Reed had actually realized the problem, but he did not expect that all the interpersonal tragedies in his life actually originated from the word "responsibility".
As the saying goes, serious illness requires strong medicine. In order to get Reed to cooperate with the treatment, Schiller simulated for him what would happen if the two of them actually started dating and even got married.
Reed was very interested in this, and he often fantasized about marrying Susan. He didn't even eat, and while holding a straw of coconut milk in his mouth, he stared at Schiller with his bright eyes.
"Okay, first question, now that you two have established a relationship, and you are about to go on your first date after falling in love, she asks you for your opinion, what will you say?"
Reid seemed to be immersed in a beautiful fantasy. He cleared his throat and said, "Of course you have the final say, dear."
"Well, I think Ms. Susan is very cautious about relationships, so for the first date after the relationship was established, she chose the more common shopping and movie-watching options. What would you say when she tells you her choice?"
As soon as the word shopping was mentioned, Reid frowned, but he quickly calmed down and said, "Okay, you might be interested in these, let's go."
Schiller stared at him for a long time, and Reed touched his face and said, "What's the problem?"
"That's a big problem." Schiller sighed helplessly and said, "What do you mean by 'you might be interested in these'?"
Reid was also a little confused. He said, "It's just what it says. I feel like Susan is someone who would be very interested in shopping."
"Then you're not interested?"
"Of course not. I don't like shopping at all." Reed spread his hands and said, "I can't tell the difference between those messy luxury brands, and those restaurants in shopping malls are not delicious."
"Then why don't you just object?"
Reid said doubtfully, "Didn't I tell you? She's interested in these things, so let's go."
"Then why don't you just give her your approval and say 'That's a great idea'?"
"I went with her because she was interested. Actually, I am not interested in these things. I just wanted to tell her why I would go."
"Then why did you say it's up to her when she asked for your opinion?"
"Then I'll just follow her, right?"
"Then why don't you approve of her?"
“Because I just don’t like these.”
"Then why do you say it's all up to her?"
Reed was confused by Schiller. He spread his hands on the table and said, "I like Susan, so I think she can decide where we go next, so I said it's up to her. I don't like the place she went, so I told her that it's because you like us that we went there. What's the problem with that?"
"Of course there is a problem. Why do you want to sit together and discuss the date location? Because you want to use this date to deepen your feelings for each other. A good date location can make your relationship heat up faster."
"A date location that can quickly heat up your relationship must be one that both of you like and that can keep both of you in a good mood. With your IQ, can't you figure this out?"
After Reed thought about it, he nodded and said, "Yes, that's true."
"In that case, the purpose of you sitting together to discuss is to discuss a date location that both of you like. If you don't want to reach a consensus, there is no need to sit down and communicate, right?"
Reed thought about it again, then said, "Indeed."
"Since the purpose of communication is to reach a consensus, then everything you said and did in this communication was extremely bad."
"You said at first that the date location was up to her, which actually meant that you liked whatever location she chose. But after she chose it, you said that you didn't like the location she chose. If you really didn't like it, why did you express to her at the beginning that 'I agree with all your choices'?"
Reid ran his fingers through his temples and said, "I was just trying to cheer her up."
"I see. So it seems that the goal of your communication this time is not to reach a consensus, but to make her happy?"
Reed nodded.
"Then your first step was right. You said you fully respected her choice and that what you like is what I like. So why didn't you continue to coax her and continue to agree with her when it came to the second question, but instead insisted on expressing that you didn't like it?"
Before Reed could speak, Schiller continued, "Because you think that's the truth, but the goal of this communication is to discuss the facts?"
Reed pursed his lips and kept silent. He had just changed the goal of this communication from reaching a consensus to making Susan happy.
"I may have been a little confused," Reid said, "but that doesn't mean I'm irresponsible, does it? I'm still going to go with her, right?"
"Do you think that accompanying her to a place you don't like is compensation for your mistakes in the previous few words?"
"Well, I might not consider that a mistake, but if she's happy, I can accept accompanying her to those luxury stores and eating at those lousy restaurants."
"So what about the things you said wrongly?"
"I probably wouldn't have realized I was wrong at the time, and I don't think Susan would have gotten angry over a few words."
"Maybe she won't this time, but what if she does one day? What will you do?"
"If she gets mad, I apologize," Reed said. "I say, 'I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry.'"
"That's more like it, then what?"
"Uh, what then?"
"Is this the end?"
"if not?"
Schiller sighed again and said, "You are a perfect example of an insincere apology."
"Because I think I would have felt very confused at the time and didn't know what she was angry about, but if I could make her not angry by apologizing, I would do it."
"But it might make her angrier."
"why?"
"Because you don't understand what she's angry about, but it's your responsibility to understand your girlfriend's emotions as much as possible, don't you think?"
"What if I really just don't understand?"
“What if a problem arises in your research project that you cannot solve?”
Reed thought about it carefully and said, "I don't think there is any scientific research problem in the world that I can't solve, but if there is such a thing, I might choose to change my thinking and solve it from another angle, or continue to study and think deeply. I believe I can understand it."
"Then why don't you have such confidence in relationships?"
"Because there are so many things I don't understand in this regard."
Schiller realized that Reed had another serious problem: his low social confidence.
Perhaps because he has never been successful in socializing since he was a child, he has no confidence in understanding and empathizing with others and prefers to choose the simplest solution.
The so-called simplest solution is to use a formula. When others are angry, he says sorry; when others are sad, he tells them to stop crying; when others are depressed, he tells them to think more positively; when others are excited, he tells them to calm down.
This formula works well for people with autism or Asperger's syndrome because they are essentially unable to understand others, which helps them pretend to be normal people.
But Reed is a normal person. He uses this formula because he feels he cannot understand others, or even if he understands them it is useless and he will still fail in social situations. This is also a kind of social disorder.
Schiller felt that his problem was quite serious and it would be difficult to correct it using conventional methods. Building social confidence would take time, but Reed wanted to pursue Susan now.
Schiller paused, looked around, and then said rather stealthily, "There are two methods now. One is formal, safe and reliable, but it is slow. The other is unconventional. I am not responsible for its safety, but it can be done quickly. Which one do you want to choose?"
"Of course it's quick!"