amaotonovel Chapter 186 The Nightmare in My Heart
Chapter 186 The Nightmare in My Heart
That night, he and she lost their second child; that night, he and she lost the possibility of loving each other forever; that night, she lost the right to be a mother, and he lost the right to be by her side...
Seven months, the pulses are connected, the mother and child are connected by heart, but a bowl of abortion pills cuts off the possibility of forever...
If, from the beginning, you and I were destined not to love each other till the end, why did we still meet each other? I don't hate the heaven, I don't blame fate, I don't sigh about fate, I just blame fate for playing tricks on me...
After Yun Jingman gave birth to the stillborn baby, Baili Haoxuan never appeared in front of Yun Jingman again. It seemed like he was avoiding her...
After losing her child, Yun Jingman became even more silent, exuding a cold and lonely aura that made people shudder. Apart from opening her mouth to eat and drink medicine, she did not make any movements, just curled up in the corner of the bed and licked her wounds.
The political affairs of Xuanhuang Dynasty became increasingly turbulent and the situation was quite tense. The traitor Beitang Yuan actually received support from Modan State, which provided him with war horses and helped him fight all the way to Xuanhuang Dynasty. The young general was indeed extraordinary and used his military skills like a god. He quickly occupied most of the territory of Cangming State.
The Xuanhuang Dynasty was in danger.
The lack of people in the court was a real concern for Baili Haoxuan. When the war became tense, Baili Haoxuan recalled Yan Zinuo, who was away from the imperial city to control the flood, back to the court.
After receiving the imperial edict from Baili Haoxuan, Yan Zinuo rushed back to the imperial city without stopping. After more than a month, he rushed back to the imperial city. After Yan Zinuo came back, he assisted Baili Haoxuan, and Baili Haoxuan was able to take a breath.
The autumn night is vast, the autumn wind hurts the night, and it is bleak and miserable.
Baili Haoxuan and Yan Zinuo discussed the war situation until late at night. Yan Zinuo was tired from traveling for days, so he sat on the couch, holding the memorial, and fell asleep.
Baili Haoxuan was concentrating on reading memorials. When he looked up and saw Yan Zinuo had fallen asleep, he didn't want to disturb him, so he picked up his brocade cloak, walked over and put it on Yan Zinuo.
I rubbed my tired brows, walked to the window, looked up at the moon, the moon was missing a piece, it was very ugly, I didn't feel like looking at it.
A waning moon is as ugly as a waning heart.
Ever since Yun Jingman had an abortion, he has never been able to sleep properly at night. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he always dreams of that bloody child and that scene... It haunts him day and night.
Even a tiger won't eat its own cubs, so what did Baili Haoxuan do? He personally sent his own son to the dark road, depriving him of the right to live. His hands slowly tightened, and his joints creaked.
He still remembered that after drinking the medicine, she still held his hand tightly, and he begged her with all his strength, "Save our child, please..." The strong nasal voice was mixed with low sobs.
However, he could do nothing but watch the enchanting blood-red flow out of Yun Jingman's body...
The strong smell of blood in the house and the pain of losing his own son filled his heart and still lingered...
Those basins of blood are so thick and piercing; those cries of struggle are so sharp and piercing; those drops of tears are so sharp and heart-wrenching.
Would his pain be less than Yun Jingman's? Yun Jingman was pitiful, but wasn't Baili Haoxuan also pitiful?
Who is being fooled by God?
The road to love becomes more and more difficult, full of potholes and mud.
Yun Jingman fainted after a heavy bleeding and a difficult birth of the dead fetus. Baili Haoxuan didn't even look at the child, but only urged the imperial doctors to do their best to save Yun Jingman, who was on the verge of death.
However, the midwife's words could never be erased from his mind.
The midwife held the dead fetus and said with great regret: "It's a very handsome little prince, with a high nose and thick eyebrows. He will definitely be a handsome man when he grows up..."
Chu Er watched as she held the little prince, and burst into tears, holding him tightly. But he didn't even look at her, his whole heart and eyes were focused on the woman with a face as pale as paper.
He didn't breathe a sigh of relief until the imperial physician said the condition had stabilized.
Chu Er handed him the little prince wrapped in yellow brocade and said, "Your Majesty, please take a look at the little prince."
Baili Haoxuan didn't dare to reach out to pick up the child, his hands were shaking.
"emperor……"
He took a deep breath with difficulty, turned his head to look at Yun Jingman, who was as pale as paper, and then turned his head to take the child from Chu'er's hands. Chu'er turned and left with tears in her eyes, leaving the space for the three of them, even though the child was already separated from them...
The little person looked so fragile and small in his long arms. When he lowered his eyes and took a closer look, he found that his son was really handsome.
The thick eyebrows are like him, the small red lips are like Yan'er, the tall and straight nose is like him, and the enchanting little face is like a smaller version of him. This is his biological child, a biological child with his blood...
There seemed to be a hint of smile on the corner of his little mouth. Was he smiling? Was he smiling because he had seen the light of day two months later? However, he had personally... killed his own son!
The little prince's smile was undoubtedly more like a sharp knife, stabbing straight into his heart.
He slowly tightened his arms around the little prince, tightly hugging the cold body that had lost its temperature, the child he had killed with his own hands...
He was really dead, completely gone from this world, his skin was cold, he had destroyed more than just a life, he had also destroyed his happiness...
Who would have known that, that night, a strong emperor was holding a dead fetus and crying.
Some sufferings are only suitable to be kept in the heart, and cannot be expressed or spoken. What he endured was beyond anyone's imagination.
Looking at the waning moon, he thought of her again. He really didn't have the courage to face her. If he didn't go to see her, he could still deceive himself and say that everything between them was still the same as before, he was just busy with government affairs, and she was just taking care of the pregnancy.
I exhaled a breath of turbid air, feeling depressed. My thoughts came like a tide, mixed with deep sadness.
He stepped lightly and headed towards Shengling Palace, but he still couldn't help but take a look at her.